Before I wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day {or not} I have a question – is it just me or do you also think Valentine’s day is less about romance and more a commercial fanfare that ‘forces‘ you to believe that it’s a day of love and you’re required to make it special.
Before you think here comes the ranting of another single, who probably doesn’t have anyone to go out with or lives under a rock, and dismiss me let me clear the facts. I am not single. We don’t live under a rock; we actually live in one of the most happening cities of the world (Dubai to be precise). We are very happy together. And no we are not one of those sad or boring dated couples, but exactly the opposite (I’d like to believe so).
My whole point is shouldn’t we celebrate each other every day – isn’t that what love is all about? Besides you don’t need a commercial industry to prove your love for each other and substantiate your status.
There are some serious problems with the V-Day, let’s give this day some real thought and decide if Valentine’s day is worth our time?
Problem #1
The pressure of the Valentine’s Day does more harm than good. I’d be honest, its often the poor man who suffers it the most. Let’s be honest, we ladies can be tricky. Even though we may dismiss Valentine’s day and say we don’t care about it, deep down we’d still expect something special for the day. God forbid if the guy actually takes you on face value and play cool, he’ll have to pay for it one way or the other.
This doesn’t mean it is easy for those who go all mushy mushy and romantic on Valentine’s. Promoted by the likes of Hallmark and reinforced by Hollywood the bar for Valentine’s is always set high. Fine dining dinner, flowers, exuberant gifts, box of chocolates, couples spa, luxury hotel reservation – sky is the limit. Then there are those Instagram and Snapchat posts from the cool girls sharing their special Valentine’s deliveries starting February and of course your woman wants to have one of her own. If those expectations are not met, the consequences can be, let’s say, not pleasant.
Even if he does meet his woman’s expectation the whole process can be annoying or a displeasure for him as he may feel forced to express his love in unmanly ways or in a manner that’s not ‘him’.
Either way, he loses.
Problem #2
Another problem with the Valentine’s is that it is one of those events that forces you into the ‘wrong’ relationship because you are so focused on your loneliness or desire to be in a relationship that come February the whole idea of being single seems daunting. This leads to the more obvious and less desirable outcome – you jump into the wrong relationship just to be sure you don’t look or feel like a loser – as if getting a man (or a woman – hey I’m not a sexist) will make you a winner.
Let’s fact it, every bloke knows playing the charming act during the Valentine’s week is his success mantra to scoring a woman on bed – as these lonely chicks are the most vulnerable and easy to play come Valentine’s.
Problem #3
Yes I know not all single women are dying to get a man and are very happy and comfortable with their single status. I was one of them too.
So let’s say you are not in love and are not looking out for someone either. Regardless, knowingly or unknowingly the whole inescapable Valentine’s fanfare ends up evoking that feeling of absolute loneliness – you agree or not.
To escape that loneliness you’d be compelled to go out of your way and do something to cheer yourself up – making the unrequired effort that could end up in self-loathing later. You could decide to go out on a date with your bestie {of course the V-day bestie will not be your actual one, unless of course she is single}, or book yourself a pampering session – spa appointment, running a long bath and watching a movie or perhaps go out shopping {isn’t that the medicine for most of the problems} – whatever you decide to do it’s consequence of the whole social pressure of Valentine’s Day.
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Not just 14th February but every day should be a Valentine’s Day. Why is it that on most days we can’t take out time for each other and on a day that’s decided by some random person we need to shower our love {which may even be a drag for most of us, yet we put up the facade and play the act}.
Bottomline? I refuse to acknowledge Valentine’s Day no matter how much redness is thrown my way. I don’t need a card, a box of chocolates or anything for that matter on a arbitrary day in Feb to express or get love – it has to be every day. So for this Valentine’s and every year to come – it will be business as usual.
